Tuesday, May 03, 2016

Lucas' Birth Story

Lucas Chatfield Miller
April 29, 2016
1:17 PM
9 lbs 6 oz 21 in

I had been guessing how his birth would play out, trying to prepare my mind for the big event of child birth.  I wrongly guessed he would come before his due date, and that made the nearly week afterward even harder.  In hind sight, I'm glad the timing worked out that way.  My mom and I had some time to go and have adventures, and she was able to watch the kids for my whole stay at the hospital.  But the idea of being induced scared me.  

On Friday morning, April 29, I got up a bit before seven after a fitful night's sleep. It was a result of being uncomfortable from being pregnant, and anxious but excited for the day to come. Corbin and I got ready, said a prayer with our family and said goodbye. On my way out the door, my mom said in a happy song sing voice, "have fun!" It reminded me of leaving for the hospital when it was time to have Ruby. Ramona had said that, then back tracked a bit because pushing a baby out isn't exactly fun. I thought it was sweet.

I drove us to the hospital, since I wasn't in labor and have a tenancy to get car sick when not in control.  This was a decidedly marked difference between natural and induced labor, and I didn't mind.  I was still feeling the anxiety and excitement welling up inside me as we drove. I had heard some discouraging things about inductions: the added pain from pitocin, the typically longer labor, the extra interventions. But I kept telling myself that everything was going to work out the way it was meant to, and that comforted me. And the thought of done being pregnant helped center my focus.

We checked in at the hospital at about 8.  I changed into a gown and got on the monitors for a while. The lovely nurse said I was contacting every few minutes already, but chalked it up to Braxton Hicks that I'd mentioned I'd been having for weeks. I was a bit more hopeful that these were the real deal, since I only had them with regularity at night.

The midwife Lisa and the student midwife Arianna came to talk with me about how I wanted the labor to go, and what steps I'd like to take to get things started. I wanted to go as low intervention as possible, avoid pitocin if I could, and do without pain medication.  

My motivation for going natural came from the big differences between Theo and Ruby's birth's, and the moment of first seeing them. Without an epidural with Ruby, I felt a huge rush of every positive emotion, and I wanted to have that with Lucas.  Would a natural labor be worth that again?  

After discussing options for induction, I decided to have her break my water and wait. Lisa gave me a little exam and said I was at about a 2, but 90% effaced. A good candidate for water breaking. After I gave the go ahead, Arianna tried her hand at examining me. It took a bit of doing on her part, a bit of breathing through discomfort on my part, but she was finally able to feel what she needed to. I'm glad I could be a helper in her learning process.

They left and returned at about 9:15 with the good old crochet hook. As Lisa broke my water, she told me how she had just broken the water of a sweet teenage girl who was worried that the whole 12" handle would need to go in. I was sorry she was freaked out, but glad for the little laugh. Lisa stood and said her intuition told her that would do the trick, and thank goodness her intuition was right! After they broke my water, they left Corbin and me to our own devices. 

He got on his computer to do research while he waited for things to get started, and I walked around and read my book. Painless contractions were coming consistently, but I wanted to keep moving for fear that they weren't real yet.

I started having Corbin put some counter pressure on my lower back during a contraction. Was it because of the discomfort of the squeeze or because my back just constantly hurt from carrying around a 9.5 pound baby?

Corbin made a playlist for me while I walked around, adding all my favorite musicians. It was nice having that playing, but I think Corbin appreciated it more than I as labor progressed, and I became more focused on my coping methods.

Once they got legitimately uncomfortable, I decided it was safe to take a rest. My body didn't need any more encouragement to get started having this baby. Between contractions, I was beginning to yawn. The bad sleep was catching up with me. I got a bit worried since I didn't know how long the day would last, and I knew I would need all the energy I could muster. Spoiler alert, it wasn't a long day, thankfully.

I reclined on the bed and read my book. Eventually I had to put it down whenever a contraction hit, so I could close my eyes and focus on breathing through the tightness.

It was getting to be lunch time, so the nurse took my order for lunch, and I ate a granola bar while I waited. I had to time my bites carefully so I didn't breath in delicious granola dust. This is the first time I felt like eating during labor, and it was a little strange. 

While lying in the bed, I had Corbin support my back when a contraction hit. It helped a bit, and Corbin liked the hugs he got to give me.

I wanted to wait till after the food came to get in the bath, but it was becoming evident that my time of benefiting from a bath was getting limited.

Corbin turned it on, and as it filled, Kate, the midwife who was now on call came to check in. "Good, you waited for me. You look pretty uncomfortable. I'll go get on my jammies (scrubs) and be right back."

I got in the tub at about noon.The warm water felt so nice, and got things moving even faster. Simply breathing through wasn't enough anymore. I started saying aaahhhh on my breaths out. Sometimes I'd have Corbin reach in the water and rub my back.

The food came, and I ate a bite of French fry here, contraction, a bite of chicken sandwich there, contraction, and Corbin got the rest. Things started getting intense, and he thought, I'd better eat this food quick before a baby shows up. Another spoiler, he came twenty minutes after this.

Corbin could obviously tell that things were getting real. He started suggesting that I get out if the bath and move to the bed. But I didn't think it was necessary yet. I'd only been in labor a few hours, I couldn't be that close already. But my aaahhs were getting louder with each contraction as I tried to maintain control. I had heard that keeping it low helped, instead of letting the sounds get high pitched, so that was my goal. Between contractions I'd been saying in my mind, each one does it's job, pushes the baby down lower, and goes. But now that they were getting painful, I had coached myself beforehand to take the transitional ones and say, these are the ones that will push him out, that will put him in my arms. I should have taken that as a sign that the end was near when I moved to that mantra, but I still couldn't believe that the end was so close.

Finally Corbin said I should probably get out. I asked him to lower the bed down to laying position, get out a towel and clean gown for me, and I'd get out after the next contraction. But I wasn't exactly in my right mind, and forgot to calculate the buoyancy of the water leaving me as my body left the water. Gravity stopped me in my tracks, and as I kneeled in the tub the baby dropped down and I said, "it's time to push." I had Corbin push the call button by the toilet, and Kate, Arianna, and a bunch of nurses ran in. Kate asked if I could get out, but as she watched me stand and cling to Corbin through a contraction, feet still in the water, my body pushing that baby without my trying, she said, "okay get back in the water." She helped me down, but another contraction hit and I suspend myself above the tub floor.

The sounds I was making were no longer low aahhs. They became higher and more like gasps as I lost control of them and my body simply took over. Kate looked me in the face and took charge. "No more sounds. Just push." I don't know how well I followed the command, but I pushed and his head popped out. Then in a tone that spoke authority, she said, "get her out of the water." The sides of the tub were too high for her to reach me and the baby properly, and I assume she saw the cord wrapped around his neck.  Three nurses lifted me straight up, and as I hung just above the water, Kate told me to push, and I did. Out came the shoulders, and the rest of him snaked out. The cord had wrapped around his neck pretty tightly, but Kate unwrapped him quickly and put him on my chest for a moment. I was in the water again, looking at this very purple baby. They cut the cord, and swept him into the other room. Corbin was standing behind me, touching my shoulder and saying encouraging things. Or so he says. Honestly, I wasn't aware of him.

That whole thing was a wild and intense couple minutes. I wasn't scared for myself or for the baby in the moment. I was completely checked out, my body having taken control. But looking back, it could have been a scary little stretch of time. It seems weird to be scared of a moment that has already passed, one that I didn't feel fear in at the time. But as I have replayed this moment, it makes me anxious. Corbin said there was a bit of scrambling from the team, because they try to avoid births in the bath, seeing as the mother is so low down and hard to reach. But because they are professionals, they knew what to do and did what needed to be done. I'm thankful for that.

As Kate ordered someone to drain the bath and called for an aid, the whole thing hit me. I was so surprised that it had ended so suddenly, that he was out, that it was over, that I had done it, that my baby was in the world. I burst into tears. I think Kate thought I was worried for Lucas, because she started saying, "hear him crying? He's okay." I hadn't been worried, but it was wonderful to hear his sweet cries and know he was a part of the world now. Corbin took my hand and I kissed it and cried. I think I said something like, "he's here, he's here" through my tears. 

Arianna was at the side of the tub now. I think she had taken a back seat during the action, probably happy to just watch the craziness, but now she was there saying I'd done a great job and being so sweet. Corbin asked her what time it was. 1:17. Our first daytime baby.

After Kate had tended my end of the cord, the nurse helped me to the bed, and they laid Lucas across my chest. Seeing him clearly now brought on another wave of uncontrolled tears and joy. He was so beautiful and perfect, his body already gaining color. His poor face was still purple and bruised from being shot out of a canon. But I got to see his hair, his nose, his little mouth.

Kate checked me out down there, coached me through a push to expel the placenta (which felt like a very satisfying poop), pushed on my belly to get rid of blood clots (which did not feel as satisfying).  I hadn't torn, booya!
Finally the midwives stepped away to look at and discuss the placenta. They asked if I wanted it, and I said no. Rita, our lovely nurse, said, "so we can sell it on eBay?"

I was completely exhausted. After the initial euphoria wore off, all I wanted to do was lay still and close my eyes. Corbin took a few pictures of us. One where I had a dull smile and one where it looks like I'm already asleep. I like the latter best, because it was so true to reality.

After a few minutes, Lucas started rooting around, and I helped him to a nipple. He latched right in like a pro, and the familiar feeling of a little person eating from me made me cry afresh. I loved nursing my other babies, and I love it with this guy too.

From breaking my water at 9:15 to popping a baby out at 1:17. A 4 hour whirlwind labor, fast and furious. I had been so worried that the process would stretch into the next day. I'm so thankful it ended up being a quick and smooth process.

It was so weird to have the rest of the day stretching out in front of us. We texted and Facebooked the news. Ate food. After I had a power nap snuggling my new baby, I felt energized.  I even put on some makeup.  The kids and grandma came to meet him only hours after Lucas arrived.  Corbin and I were in awe of how beautiful our new baby was, and how great I felt so soon after.  

Lucas fits right into our family, right into our home.  We all love him more than we could imagine.  I mean, I knew I would love my new baby, but I love my new baby.  I'm so thankful he's finally here!